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RE: Difficulty is.. ~John Asaaings 1.Nov.03 06:25 PM a Web browser General 6.0.2 CF1Windows 2000
If you're still watching this post and haven't come up with a workaround for your issue, maybe you can use this method.
You set up multiple MX records. putting say MX =10 for your Domino server, and MX=20 for your backup isp server. This will allow you to have blacklisting most of the time and a non-blacklisted backup in case your server is unreachable.
Not the best solution but it's better than nothing.